why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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