Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize