Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize