can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
