My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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