i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there was a trapeze. enough said
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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