i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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