I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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