the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
accomplished twins. life is a go
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
