VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
