The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
