apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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