Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
