What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
