nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
soo... how was my night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
