Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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