OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this boner is exhausting
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
