You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Are we still banned from the library?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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