he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
