I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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