If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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