Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
