Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he puts the penis in happiness.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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