Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
