I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
