I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
