I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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