just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize