Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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