I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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