There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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