I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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