Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
