I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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