Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
