Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
