we have officially lost it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
