Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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