Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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