i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We left the knife in your bed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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