I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
