It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
