i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
