I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do vagina's smell?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
