I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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