the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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