ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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