There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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