Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
