currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
