Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
