Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
