What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
