I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
