Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
