Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
