why didn't you poke me back
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize