I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
