Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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