Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize