Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
