what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do vagina's smell?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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