I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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