Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
