Those balls look pretty dangerous.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
