I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
