im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize