Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I intend to get homeless drunk
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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