...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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